having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
