I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you win again, gameday.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
