you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
