I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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