people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
