I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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