Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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