I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
