Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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