How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
