Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
