It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
