oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
