Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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