and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
