im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
