Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i already hear my dad disowning me
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
