I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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