Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
