mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
