I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
