dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
