We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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