he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
