handjob tips. give me some.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
