dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
