Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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