id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
