The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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