I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she peed on how many people?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
