uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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