Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
