He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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