I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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