My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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