im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
