if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
