I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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