In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize
