I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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