question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Also, beer. Big fan.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
