I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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