The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
