operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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