What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
