I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize