dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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