he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
