how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
