i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We're not piercing ourselves today.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
