dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
