turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize