Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
